Masterpiece's Emma is television at its best

Masterpiece Classic recently aired three part series “Emma,” a wondrous and sprightly adaptation of Jane Austen’s timeless novel.

“Emma” is the story of Emma Woodhouse, a silly teenager who considers herself a matchmaker of the best sort, though she most certainly is not. Her immaturity provides for some entertaining and endearing moments. Emma is so busy meddling with people’s love lives that she doesn’t realize the man of her dreams literally lives next door: Mr. Knightley, the perfect gentleman archetype of all of Austen’s novels.

This adaptation surpassed the older A&E one with a miscast Kate Beckinsale. This “Emma” was sharp, dazzling, vibrant and engaging. The acting was impeccable, of note is the scene when Knightley confronts Emma in the drawing room about hindering the engagement of Harriet and Robert Martin. The two verbally duel in a battle of morals that showcases Austen’s wit.

The colors in this series were captivating! Whether a scarlet gown, or verdant hedges, or auburn wood chairs, the color palate the art director employed was enriching to the overall series.

And we of course cannot fail to mention the characters. All of them memorable and humorous, the acting of this “Emma” never failed. Accomplished actor Michael Gambon played the warm but preoccupied Mr. Woodhouse. Blake Ritson, of 2007’s “Mansfield Park” played the bumbling but attractive Mr. Elton. Romola Garai, of “Atonement,” played the titular Emma Woodhouse, in all her immature but lovable glory. Jonny Lee Miller (who, like Ritson, played Edmund Betram in a previous adaptation of “Mansfield Park”) played Mr. Knightley, Emma’s stern but passionate neighbor.

As for the quintessential question of Austen, which of the gentleman in this “Emma” wins our approbation and highest regard? Mr. Elton. Though a total fraud and rather comical, Mr. Elton has the right combination of looks and charm. When he proposes to Emma in the carriage, you’ll both cheer and laugh. A marvelous combination indeed.

“Emma" had been low on my list of favorite Jane Austen stories, but this series may just move it up a spot. Though it didn’t win over audiences in Britain, American audiences haven't yet tired of Austen adaptations. If ever you are in the mood for a droll and enchanting series, check out “Emma.”

Counting Down the Top 5 Soundtracks of All Time

Soundtracks are what make film perhaps the greatest medium of artistic expression. There is nothing so moving as a stirring score playing over stunningly shot scenes. This combination of the visual and the auditory makes film a unique experience.

Join us as we count down the top 5 soundtracks of all time:

5) “Gladiator” 2000. This sword and sandal epic is a triumph for director Ridley Scott. But it is Hans Zimmer’s emotional and uplifting score that really made the film great. From the ending, when Maximus dies in the coliseum, and the emperor’s sister gives a rousing speech, to the moment when his slave friend says goodbye, the score is positively emotive and griping. This truly is a beautiful piece of music, conveying the height of greed and decadence, but also the inspiration of one man.

4) “Gone with the Wind” 1939. Max Steiner’s score is as epic as the movie itself. The main theme, “Tara’s Theme” conveys the sweeping, stirring drama of the greatest movie of all time. As the words “Gone with the Wind” move across the screen, the music thunders. The result is an impressive moment in film. The most compelling scene in the movie is when Scarlett vows to never starve, and as the film comes to intermission “Tara’s Theme” triumphantly echoes her emotional resolve.

3) “The Last of the Mohicans” 1992. Composers Trevor Jones and Randy Edelman contributed to the score. Edelman’s synthesizer music is very good, but it is an obvious rip-off of Vangelis ala “Blade Runner” and “Chariots of Fire.” It is Jones’ stringed instrumentation that really carries the score into greatness. Interpolating Scottish tune “The Gael” into the soundtrack, the tension between the fiddles reach crescendos that match the romance of the film, and the breathtaking vistas of the Blue Ridge mountains. The last 10 minutes or so of the movie feature just standout track “The Promontory” playing, with little or no dialogue, as the film reaches its beautiful and devastating climax. A contribution by Enya’s former group Clannad, “I Will Find You,” makes a montage of the group pursuing the villainous Magwa absolutely affecting.

2) “The Piano” 1993. Michael Nyman constructed a gorgeous score for Jan Campion’s Oscar winning film. Relying on the eponymous piano, Nyman’s score manages to make the piano sound like an orchestra unto itself. The piano is the voice for the mute main character, and thus the songs in the movie have many moods. Stand out tracks are “The Promise” and “The Heart asks Pleasure First,” which convey the romance and drama of the forbidden relationship and the mystical danger of New Zealand.

1) Star Wars 1977-2005. John Williams took the sublime creation of visionary George Lucas to a whole other level with his score. Both profound and moving, Williams and Lucas made a risky decision to use a classical score for a science fiction movie made at a time when the electronic sounds of disco ruled the airwaves. Who can forget the sweeping majesty of Luke looking at the twin suns while “The Force Theme” plays? Or the rollicking Cantina band playing to a crowd of otherworldly patrons? The “Imperial March” is synonymous with “Star Wars” itself. More recently, the prequel trilogy featured memorable songs like the chant-heavy “Duel of Fates,” the exuberant “Augie’s great Municipal Band” during the parade and the romantic “Across the Stars.” And nothing is so amazing as the main theme. Whether thundering in a theatre or in your living room, the main theme is unparalleled. 2009’s Star Wars: In Concert was a privilege for this blog to have seen. Truly iconic.

(Note: all clips and posters are property of their respective owners/copyright owners.)

Non traditional Kawaii

So there are many things that are kawaii (cute) that most people wouldn’t think so. But we at “There’s something wrong with Esther” believe that kawaii is in the eye of the beholder. Sometimes something so ugly is too cute. Babies? Pass. These not-yet-developed humans are not cute: they are dirty and needy. Parasitic NecroBorgs from “Meatball Machine”? Definitely kawaii! Who wouldn’t find their squeaky breathy vocalizations and jerky movements endearing?

So, without further adieu, here is a countdown of the top 5 shouldn’t-be-but-are-kawaii fictional characters:

5. Ryuk from “Death Note.” Ryuk is deep. Like the Olympian gods, he loves to meddle in human affairs. He drops a death note into the human world and watches with amusement as a teenager, Light, reeks havoc on the fellow humans. He looks like a demon so he shouldn’t be cute. But the kawaii factor are his eyes. Anything with huge, googly eyes that dig deep into your soul and scream out “I am cute, you need me!” can entrance you.

4. The roach from “Wall-E.” Bugs are not cute (Hedorah would vehemently disagree). But this little guy is so loveable. He is fiercely loyal, humorous and captures everything a side kick ought to be. Wall-E is traditionally kawaii but children’s films sidekicks sometimes eclipse their hero companion. This cockroach can infest our home anyday.

3. Hedorah from “Godzilla vs. Hedorah.” Al Gore could learn something about how to promote a green message from Hedorah. A flying, shrill pollution creature that terrorizes Japan, Hedorah is repelling. But this pollutant in a psychedelic world is worthy of the title of kawaii. He is reminiscent of a plushy and his vertical eyes are really adorable.

2. Kuato from “Total Recall.” A deformed baby sticking out of a fat man’s chest. Anyone normal (i.e. unappreciative) would think that’s ugly. But this “modern day George Washington” is every bit the underdog: his form makes him easily overlooked but he is a leader that inspires the best in the mutants on Mars. Open your minds to him, and you may just begin to understand that Kuato is kawaii.

1. Jabba the Hutt. Obesity isn’t cute. Neither is a giant reptilian, slimy body. Nor are hedonistic sexual habits. And really, nothing about Jabba the Hutt is traditionally cute. But something about this corpulent creature is so kawaii. Maybe it’s the large eye factor, or the teddy-bear like body, but Jabba the Hutt seems like someone who you would love to hug. His personality pushes you away, but because of that you want to comfort him, tell him it’s going to be ok (watch out for the slave girl chain!). Somehow, everything ugly just magically fits together into a cute form with Jabba. We love you, Mr. Hutt!

Sick Nurses: Its Insanity Knows No Bounds

Going into Sick Nurses, a 2007 Thai horror film, I wasn't expecting a cinematic masterpiece. I wasn't even expecting something too terribly creative. As long as it was at least moderately entertaining, and as long as there was at least a little bit of fake blood splashed across the screen, I would've been happy. In the end, Sick Nurses exceeded my expectations, not because it was a brilliant piece of storytelling, but because it is one of the most bizarre, nonsensical, and entertaining things I have ever experienced.

The wondrous journey that Sick Nurses takes you on is a little slow to start. The beginning of the movie moves about as slowly as an earthworm crawling through pancake syrup. Honestly, the beginning is about as cliche Asian horror story as you get. A gaggle of young, attractive nurses, working under a young, corrupt doctor, murder one of their own. The reason? Well, it appears that this nurse threatened to go to the police regarding the hospital's side operation- selling dead bodies on the black market.

The nurses go about their vapid lives until, seven days after the killing, the spirit of the fallen nurse comes to back to take bloody vengeance on her murderers. As I said, up until this point its pretty bland. Even the dead nurse's look is generic Asian horror- complete with the standard long hair masking half her face.

It isn't until a good chunk of the movie that's things get bizarre, and consequently, really fun. You see, all of these nurses have major flaws (one is a greedy material girl, a set of identical twins are so in love with their own looks that they have a borderline incestuous relationship...you get the picture). In a surprisingly clever Saw-esque twist, the nurses' respective flaws are brought back to haunt them by the vengeful spirit. It is here that Sick Nurses shines- the nurses' deaths are bloody, creative, and shockingly funny. I wouldn't dare to spoil what is one of the most outlandish deaths in film history, but I will give you a small taste of what to expect- it features a severed jaw and fetus spontaneously leaping out of a jar. How can people say originality is dead?!

As you might have guessed by now, the mayhem of Sick Nurses is played more for laughs than scares. This is a movie that, if they have the patience to sit through the mediocre beginning, will be enjoyable to fans of the blood-soaked splatter comedies of Japan (The Machine Girl, Tokyo Gore Police, etc.) While Sick Nurses is nowhere near as frantic as those movies, it shares the same gloriously perverse sense of humor, and in-your-face special effects.

Lastly, if you stick around 'til the end you will be rewarded with a weird, weird, weird twist ending. Despite (or because of?) the fact that this twist is completely unnecessary, it makes Sick Nurses all that more enjoyable, hilarious, and awesome.

Track of the Week: Revolver

So this may be the start of a new feature of the blog, track of the week...nor will they all be Madonna songs.

"Revolver" by Madonna, from the album "Celebration."

"Revolver" was issued as a single using this One Love remix. It is short but assuredly sweet. The album version is horrendous: it sounds like the most trite Top 40 American music you'd ever hear. An obligatory Lil' Wayne cameo, Madonna's cheap attempt at getting radio play and sales, marred the track. Loud, crashing music overpower Madonna's voice. I even detected some auto-tune, that over-used bane of music. The album version sounded a lot like Britney's "Radar" and was unlistenable. Fortunately, Warner had its screws tightened right when it decided to issue its last Madonna single. Remixed by David Guetta (producer of the Black Eyed Peas), the One Love remix of "Revolver" takes dust and turns it into a diamond. Madonna's voice is clear, not drowned out as on the album version. Her singing on the choruses harkens back to the high pitched vocals of her youth. The choruses are catchy and will easily get stuck in your head. The song ends with Madonna showing off her singing talents by holding her note on the melismatic glory of "I line them up and watch them fall." The lyrics expertly and intelligently compare love to a murder weapon, while the music is electronic and pop at its most current best (the song very much has the sound of '09). I'm glad David Guetta rescued this song, it turned out to be solid gold, without the Lil' Wayne rap, and by highlighting what Madonna had always done best: singing catchy lyrics over a dance track.

As of this post, "Revolver" is at 5 on the Dance Charts, and will probably be her umpteenth number one. Esther can't really climb up to the top of the real chart anymore...

(I stole this video from YouTube and couldn't find a version without the Lil Wayne rap, I apologize to your ears in advance).

The story about our name

"Something's wrong with Esther," was the tagline for the 2009 film "Orphan." While the film was of dubious quality, it's tagline speaks volumes of another Esther -- in this case, pop diva Madonna. Madonna's Kaballah name is Esther, which means Star. She is a star, and a wonderful human being (in this case the meaning that Han Solo expresses to fellow hedonist Jabba the Hutt). So, our name signifies Esther: a mean individual who nonetheless commands our adoration.

Enjoy!