Rant: Remakes, and to a lesser extent, 3D

BSG: the Best TV Show Ever (Why Remake It?)

I sadly discovered that Bryan Singer is set to direct a Battlestar Galactica movie. BSG was riveting and science fiction (and television) at its best. With series and season long story-arcs like the X-Files, BSG was done right because it focused on amazing, deep, well-developed characters and amazing, deep, well-developed storylines. The show basically was about what it took humans from worlds destroyed by the cylons to survive while being aggressively pursued; throw in a heavy amount of spiritual and technological themes and you have as a sublime a television show as you’d ever get. And the ending was mind-blowing and very academic too. The need for a movie that has nothing to do with the remake series is lost on me. Why remake something that’s already been remade so well that you can’t possibly surpass it? Even the original 70s series (fans of campy scifi with like it) was sued by George Lucas for being way too similar to Star Wars. And do we have to be subjected to the inevitable 3D!

And this year alone a remake of a new movie is being pumped out. In this case, it’s a remake of the upcoming (hopefully) romcom (of the year) The Back Up Plan. Starring Jennifer Aniston, The Switch is a romcom about a woman who gets artificially inseminated. Uh, hello, strong J-Lo! J-Lo’s starring in exactly the same plot in her movie. Next thing you know, Jennifer Aniston’s turkey baster is going to pop out at you in 3D. The only thing about the Switch is that it’s based on a short story by a Pultizer Prize winner, so it may be deeper than The Back Up Plan. Though I’m a fan of Jenn, I have to side with J-Lo in this one. (Soundtrack suggestion: use So Hard by the Dixie Chicks, a heartbreaking song about the Chicks’ struggle to get pregnant.)

To be fair, a good portion of movie goers and critics were lukewarm to Clash of the Titans. My personal enjoyment of the film aside, we didn’t really need a remake. The original is iconic and its effects hold up to today. The story was better executed in the original, and the addition of the mechanical owl gave the movie an R2D2-eque character.

What Hollywood needs is originality. I’m certainly not hating on remakes (Dawn of the Dead and My Bloody Valentine were great) but just calling for some freshness in Century City.

Clash of the Titans: Cute Creatures and Sam Worthington

*minor spoilage below*

I went into Clash of the Titans with some trepidation. Though I will always have fond memories of the original, this new movie was entertaining in its own way. The story deviated in that they condensed some elements and added new ones. The major change was the character arc of Perseus, who wants to prove his humanity by fighting like a man rather than using his abilities as a demigod. In the original he didn’t question the gods. They added the character of Io, played by the beautiful Gemma Artenton, who is the new Keira Knightley as far as I am concerned.

The CGI is great, and I don’t think 3D is necessary for this movie, having seen it as 2D. Pegasus’ wings are really realistic, and the Kraken is impressive. Medusa fell short: she wasn’t as terrifying as the original stop-motion Medusa; I think there were too many distractions in her scene and the CGI tail was pretty fake looking. A major annoyance in the movie was a religious zealot who goes after the royal family of Argos, but the other actors were really good, most of them being familiar faces to Masterpiece Theatre fans. The bad guy with the scar from Casino Royale pops up, as does Colin Firth's TCAP pedophile-bait from A Single Man. There were lots of cute creatures in this, my favorite being the Gin people. They resemble the helper that worked with Scotty in the new Star Trek, but with awesome black magic powers. A sentient severed hand even appears. The witches with the oracle eye were really well executed. I was awestruck by Charon, he was a skeleton twisted into the sinews of the wooden shop he pilots.

The jokes were a little conventional, but endearing in a Pirate of the Caribbean sort of way (though without the obnoxious water wheel and Keira-Johnny-Orlando banter). The training scene, though short, was cliché. Sam Worthington shined in this movie, and I’ll pay $10 again to watch him save the day in a Greek warrior tunic. He was his normal serious self, but mustered a smile (I counted twice in the movie) which was a departure for his otherwise predictable performance. His chemistry with Io was a treat, and I wish they did more with that story. The ending was different in that he doesn’t wind up with Andromeda, but there’s a nice twist in the end (though they could’ve shown them kissing).
Sam and Gemma: Great On Screen Chemistry

This isn’t better than the wonderful original, nothing can beat the mechanical owl, but it is a decent movie and I wound up really enjoying myself. This felt very Jerry Bruckheimer, and I think Guillermo del Toro could've made magic with this movie. 4 stars out of 5.

A Sam and J-Lo Moment

One of the highlights (one of the only highlights) of the Oscars this year was Sam Worthington and Jennifer Lopez presenting together. It didn't last long, but their moment on stage was third behind Mo'Nique's incredible speech and Oprah's effusive praise of Gabby. J-Lo is one of those rare people who would look good wearing a dirty garbage bag, and she's earned my respect for her transition from pop to romcoms. She's critcized as being boring, but under that diva exterior she's a really normal person, who enjoys spending time with her kids. She's still Jenny from the Block. On her twitter, she posted:

Sang What Is Love at San Remo! New song from my new movie The Back-up Plan. Saw it last week during a press junket. Ugh, junkets are tough!

On one hand, it's so ridiculous to think press junkets are tough compared to what the Precious girls everywhere go through, but for me, this was endearing. I understand J-Lo's stress is positive. She's getting out there and feeling good about working hard. It's heartwarming that she takes pride in her artistry.

Sam, on the other hand, is for me the modern day Tom Cruise. Even though I hate "modern day" comparison, like saying Gaga is the new Madonna, I think it fits in his case. He's a good looking action star. Yes, like Tom he's cocky and conceited, but I like that Sam doesn't take shit about Avatar. It's not a crappy movie, and he sticks up for it. He's quite boring beyond that, but the films I've seen him in so have been some of my favorites (Terminator and Avatar).

But when they presented together, it was a magical moment. Their chemistry was so intense. There were lots of smiles, and even some laughter. You could tell they really got along. They probably had so much fun presenting together! Sam recently said to the press that he felt starstruck being on the same stage as J-Lo. That's really awesome. He knows a star when he sees one. (Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking: real life shipping pair?)

This is quite the fangirl post!

Track of the Week: What is Love?

It’s a new week, and in honor of Valentine’s Day we’ve chosen a love ballad. But this song is really about someone trying to find love, because they’ve been hurt in the past. So this isn’t exactly a love ballad. But we at “Something’s wrong with Esther” are known to eschew the rules.

“What is Love?” by Jennifer Lopez from the album “Love?”

Sure, I know what you’re thinking: Jennifer Lopez?! Why, why, why? But this song is actually uplifting in its own way.

This a leak from her forthcoming album “Love?” due sometime this year. J-Lo isn’t a spectacular singer, nor is she the best actress (but her romcoms are better than her songs). Yet “What is Love?” manages to soar, albeit unexpectedly.

If you’re thinking the melody sounds familiar, you’re right. “What is Love?” blatantly steals the melody and “na na na na” parts from Nelly Furtado’s masterpiece “All Good Things” and the Pussycat Dolls’ touching “I Hate this Part” (yes, PCD can be touching when they want to be). Both were decent songs in their own right, so the combination of the best parts from both manages to strike gold in this song.

The song starts off with a hip hop/dance beat similar to the songs it steal from. What makes this song shine is J-Lo’s vocal work. Her voice has never sounded better, especially in the end when she belts out over the choruses. The lyrics are actually poignant, reflective and touching, and semi-autobiographical.

Is it original? No. It actually sounds like any other ballad on the radio. Is it decent, in its own way? Listen and decide for yourself.

No illegal activity was intended by posting this video. Go and buy the album when it comes out to make up for listening to this.