Rant: Remakes, and to a lesser extent, 3D

BSG: the Best TV Show Ever (Why Remake It?)

I sadly discovered that Bryan Singer is set to direct a Battlestar Galactica movie. BSG was riveting and science fiction (and television) at its best. With series and season long story-arcs like the X-Files, BSG was done right because it focused on amazing, deep, well-developed characters and amazing, deep, well-developed storylines. The show basically was about what it took humans from worlds destroyed by the cylons to survive while being aggressively pursued; throw in a heavy amount of spiritual and technological themes and you have as a sublime a television show as you’d ever get. And the ending was mind-blowing and very academic too. The need for a movie that has nothing to do with the remake series is lost on me. Why remake something that’s already been remade so well that you can’t possibly surpass it? Even the original 70s series (fans of campy scifi with like it) was sued by George Lucas for being way too similar to Star Wars. And do we have to be subjected to the inevitable 3D!

And this year alone a remake of a new movie is being pumped out. In this case, it’s a remake of the upcoming (hopefully) romcom (of the year) The Back Up Plan. Starring Jennifer Aniston, The Switch is a romcom about a woman who gets artificially inseminated. Uh, hello, strong J-Lo! J-Lo’s starring in exactly the same plot in her movie. Next thing you know, Jennifer Aniston’s turkey baster is going to pop out at you in 3D. The only thing about the Switch is that it’s based on a short story by a Pultizer Prize winner, so it may be deeper than The Back Up Plan. Though I’m a fan of Jenn, I have to side with J-Lo in this one. (Soundtrack suggestion: use So Hard by the Dixie Chicks, a heartbreaking song about the Chicks’ struggle to get pregnant.)

To be fair, a good portion of movie goers and critics were lukewarm to Clash of the Titans. My personal enjoyment of the film aside, we didn’t really need a remake. The original is iconic and its effects hold up to today. The story was better executed in the original, and the addition of the mechanical owl gave the movie an R2D2-eque character.

What Hollywood needs is originality. I’m certainly not hating on remakes (Dawn of the Dead and My Bloody Valentine were great) but just calling for some freshness in Century City.

Un baiser s’il vous plaît: A Romcom with Brains

While on this French kick, I will review a French film. Un baiser s’il vous plaît was released in France in 2007 but is technically a new film here in the States as it was just released on DVD. I’m not sure what the French title means, but here it was released as Shall We Kiss? The trailer and DVD cover don’t do it justice, making it seem more like an average romcom than the thoughtful film it actually is.

Intellectual, ironic, and charming…

This film is a fatalist work that explores the consequences of human behavior and how people react to it. The theme is that people will do what they want, and it is one’s choice to react emotionally or to wait for time to take its toll or work its magic. The film begins with two people, Gabriel and Émile, who fall in love at first sight. However, the story of Judith and Nicola, les amis d’Émile, who are involved with other people but fall in love (despite, or because of, their deep friendship). Judith kind of just goes along with what Nicola wants, until she realizes that she has hurt her husband Claudio. Their story ends with Nicola quite happy they are together (he really seemed to want it more, while Judith’s emotions were more conflicted) and Judith telling him it will take time for her to be happy (again, highlighting the fatalist theme of the movie).

Gabriel and Émile give in and share a very passionate kiss, but it turns out Émile is Claudio’s new wife, and she decides that Gabriel should go. The fatalism of their ending is that they shared this wonderful night together, talking and one kiss, but rather than let Claudio suffer again, they chose to suffer for a missed opportunity. This ties directly into Judith’s feelings, because she attempted to lessen the blow to Claudio by contriving a date with Nicola’s ex-girlfriend, Câline, that ultimately exposed her deception, which hurt him more.

Fatalism, this film posits, is to suffer but not complain, because (to paraphrase Câline) whining doesn’t take the suffering away, only time.

The cast was superb, and their acting was subtle but pronounced enough to impress the viewer. With the exception of Nicola (and his unibrow), they were all beautiful in a way only the French can be. The music, by Shubert (this ties into the plot), was pretty too. The cinematography, art design, and costume design of this film was all minimalist, relying on a chic use of shades of white. The direction of the film highlighted the cerebral aspects of the plot, by placing characters in front of art pieces, and creating shots that looked like oil paintings themselves. The script tackled intellectual conversations with deftness and humor that The Single Man tried for, but lacked.

The grace of the characters, the grace of the plot, and the grace of the filming was light enough that it made the implications of the film all the more surprising. Roger Ebert criticized the prettiness of the cast, the conversations, and the camerawork, but I think it had to be light enough for such thought provoking fatalist subject matters. This film was, if anything, very, very, very French (quite!).

I think a remake by Hollywood would be expertly handled by Natalie Portman as Judith, Michael Vartan as Gabriel, Cate Blanchett as Émile, Amanda Seyfried as Câline, and Jason Schwartzman as Nicola. If you see this movie, you will see what I mean. Come to think of it, this seemed like a Wes Anderson or Sophia Coppola film that didn’t take itself seriously.

If you’re in for a good foreign film, watch this movie!

In Theatres: Valentine's Day

"Valentine's Day" directed by Gary Marshall, features an all star cast of today's A-List celebrities. The premise is simple: the movie follows the stories of a bunch of people in LA on Valentine's Day, a romcom of the ups and downs of love. The movie was the right blend of saccharine and superficial.

The best parts of this movie were when the characters actually had chemistry. It was wonderful to see Julia Roberts return to the big screen, and she connected well with Bradley Cooper. Her story as a soldier returning home was a little difficult to believe at first (Julia, a soldier?) but she managed to make the character worthwhile. Jennifer Garner always manages to be youthful, cute, and warm at the same time. And her role was different for her, as the other woman. I despise Taylor Swift, but she got the most laughs in the theatre, deservedly so, as the ditsy high schooler. Julia's niece Emma showed a lot of promise as an actress, playing a more sanitized version of Juno. Rounding out the better part of the cast was the beautiful Jessica Biel, whose scenes were hilarious (especially when she was on her treadmill and it sped up while she tried to get the phone, classic romcom!).

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This movie would have been better had the film been a series of vignettes rather than drawing out the story lines. The cast was so massive that some of the characters got lost along the way. Each story focused on a different type of relationship, at a different stage, so it would have made for a better movie to have gone from the high schoolers to the old married couple, in self contained short films.

The major drawback of this film was the storyline about the little boy. I am completely disgusted by love sick kids in movies. First, kids don't have the hormones yet to be attracted to people. Second, why the hell to people think it's so darn cute? NO! It's just creepy. I wish Jennifer Garner (who played the boy's teacher) would have acted more appropriately creeped out when he was hitting on her, as she could lose her job a la Mary Kay Laterneau. Plus, aren't kids falling in love so cliche?!

Jamie Foxx' ego is so big that it dominates everything he's in, including this movie. Eric Dane, though funny in this movie, isn't exactly an A-List star. Jessica Alba's and Patrick Dempsey's characters were thoroughly unlikeable. And though Shirley McLaine gave a great performance, her character was unlikable too.

The best story lines were between Anne Hathaway and Topher Grace as a young couple who were dating for just two weeks, Taylor Launter and Taylor Swift as the high school airheads, Julia Roberts and Bradley Cooper on the plane, and Jennifer Garner and Ashton Kutcher as two friends who don't realize they love each other yet.

This wasn't a perfect movie. The characters were undeveloped (there were just far too many to give them much focus, especially Queen Latifah) and the story was disconnected. However, a few hours after seeing the movie I realized I was in a good mood, and if anything, a movie such as this should do just that.

Counting Down the Best RomComs

Hedorah requested I countdown the best romcoms of all time, and so I shall. Basic conventions of the romcom include:

1) The meet cute. This is a term used by film studies people to describe the situation, always humorous and unintended on the part of the characters, when the two people meet. In Serendipity, it's selecting the same pair of gloves at the same time and having to fight over it.

2) The love-hate dynamic. The said couple is intensely attracted to each other, but at first is reluctant to admit it so they are often dismissive of each other. It makes for great comedy as they try and battle the sexual tension.

3) The best friend. Usually a fat broad or a lonely gay guy, the best friend is dependable but never outshines the lead. The best friend in modern romcoms is almost exclusively played by Judy Greer. (No kidding, she is in almost all the romcoms! As Timothy Spall is to ugly roles, Judy Greer is to the best friend role).

4) The break up. After dating and really enjoying each other for a while, a very obvious misunderstanding causes the couple to break up. The girl sits on the couch, wearing frumpy clothes, and watches TV while eating out of an ice cream carton (see: Bridget Jones). The guy pours himself into his work and hangs out with his friends playing sports but missing his girl.

5) The get back together. Against their every wish, the couple is thrust back together in a humorous situation (a la the balloon ride scene in The Ugly Truth) and then reconcile and fall in love all over again.

The appeal of romcoms lies in this predictability. You go to the theatre expecting the outcome, and therefore can sit back and enjoy it without being preoccupied.

Without further delay, the best romcoms:

10) Shakespeare in Love - 1998. A story about Shakespeare falling in love that is built around the plot line of Romeo and Juliet and Twelfth Night, this movie is one of two romcoms to win a Best Picture Oscar. To say that it's excellent is a disservice to this movie. Gwyneth Paltrow stars as the love interest of Shakespeare, played by the long-necked Joseph Fiennes. Judi Dench's less than 15 minutes on screen as Elizabeth I is so captivating, that she won an Oscar. I adore this film.

9) Something's Gotta Give - 2003. I'm not too much of a fan of Diane Keaton and her bizarre turtle-neck sweater fetish, but this is a great movie. Jack Nicholson is dating her daughter, but as the two spend more and more time together, they fall in love. Along the way, Diane goes out with a handsome young doctor, played by a surprisingly not-wooden Keanu Reeves, which foils the relationship of the crusty Jack Nicholson and Amanda Peet. The heart attack scene is so funny. I love the ending in Paris, where they finally confess their love for each other. It's Complicated has nothing on this movie.

8) The Very Thought of You - 1998. Joseph Fiennes reappears on our list in this underground British romcom. A really pretty girl abandons her problematic life in America and buys a $99 ticket to London on a whim to start over. Three men, all very good friends, fall in love with her but as they tell each other their stories, they don't realize it's the same woman. Joe ends up with her in the end. Great humor, and a very magical story, and marvelous acting make this clever movie a departure from the norm.

7) Bridget Jones's Diary - 2001. Renee Zellwegger gained a lot of weight for her role as the large ditz with an out-of-her-hands life. Based liberally on Pride & Prejudice, the plot is the same as its source material. Hilarious jokes and frank British sexual humor spruce it up, along with the normally dull Colin Firth parodying himself as Mr. Darcy. A classic of the modern genre.

6) 13 Going on 30 - 2004. Jennifer Garner plays a girl who desperately wanted to be popular in high school. She gets sent forward in time to find that she's a successful business woman and popular. But when she reconnects with her best friend from school, and falls for him, she realizes that being popular made her a mean person and gives it all up to go back. The 80s flashbacks to high school are excellent, with a Madonna soundtrack and funny pop culture references. The scenes of Jennifer Garner getting used to being 30 are hilarious.

5) The Awful Truth - 1937. Cary Grant and Irene Dunne star as a couple who are married but are getting a divorce. They spend a humorous evening together going to a party, then travelling to her uncle's house confronting the issues in their relationship. In the end, they wind up falling back in love. Two memorable scenes include the singing scene at the party, and the car falling down a slope near the end. Though old, this is a classic of the genre and is humorous and safe for the whole family.

4) Bringing Up Baby - 1938. Another oldie but goodie. A tiger, a stiff by-the-book guy, and a vivacious girl collide in a rollicking, humorous adventure. The film is heavy on slapstick with the tiger, but it's a true classic. Katherine Hepburn is impeccable as usual, in a comedic departure from her usual dramas. Cary Grant stars as the straight laced man who falls in love with her.

3) The Wedding Singer - 1998. Adam Sandler plays a loser who teaches music, who falls in love with Drew Barrymore, a nice girl who's dating the wrong guy. Set in the 1980s, the film is rife with hilarious references to the pop culture of the decade. The soundtrack, featuring Madonna among others, is one of the best compilations ever. It is a virtual greatest hits of the decade. The supporting cast is spot on, and the humorous but touching ending on the plane is silly but fun. This movie is really just a good time as any!

2) Catch and Release - 2006. I was hesitant to include this on the list at first, because it's more of a drama. The radiant and under appreciated Jennifer Garner plays a girl whose fiance dies on their wedding day. She falls in love with his best friend, the ne'er-do-well photographer Fritz (who is currently starring as the cop in "The Crazies"), while overcoming her grief and the revelation that she didn't know her fiance as well as she thought. The filming is beautiful, and the movie is actually a step above its own genre. The humor of the movie is largely provided by Juliette Lewis, playing a hippy, and Kevin Smith, who plays Fritz' fat but funny roommate. A touching ending pulls on the heart strings. This is a marvelous gem of a movie.

1) Never Been Kissed - 1999. Drew Barrymore plays a reporter for the Chicago Sun Times who goes undercover as a high school student. She's was a loser then, and starts off as a loser now. But then she falls for her irresistible English teacher, played by Michael Vartan. She masquerades as a popular girl but then everything blows up in her face as he discovers her deception. The ending is amazing, and makes this movie earn the number one spot. Drew is funny as usual, and really carries the movie. Alias fans will appreciate Mike's turn as the teacher. Oh, and Madonna's Like a Prayer is in this movie too.

Worst romcom: Maid of Honor

Honorable mention best romcoms: The Wedding Planner and The Proposal

To the cashier at the Borders on the corner of Halsted & North in Chicago, I've seen The Holiday, it wasn't as good as you said.