Rant: "No wonder there's panic in the industry"

Britney sung this line in her cold and calculated anthem of not caring what people think about her in “Piece of Me.”

The music industry suffered during the 2000s. The beginning of the decade saw massive success, from artists like Britney and the Backstreet Boys. But toward the middle of the decade, as bubblegum pop became replaced by hiphop and indie, sales lagged. This is indicative of the quality of the latter genres.

Hiphop/R-n-B/rap, whatever you want to call it, is horridly unoriginal. Sure, there are some songs that are passably enjoyable (Jay Sean’s “Down”) but they are so trite that their enjoyment shelf life is relatively short. Hiphop relies on samples (aka blatantly stealing from previous hits) which shows how, in a way, ignorant the listening public is. Classic songs like “You Spin Me Round” are largely (and regrettably) forgotten by the biggest consumer demographic, the young, and incorporated into such rotten songs as Florida’s “Right Round.” Yes, it’s catchy upon a first listen but then the sadness of the sample/stealing sinks in. Who doesn’t enjoy the campy, so-cheap-its-good video, expressive vocal work, and bright dance beats of the original Dead or Alive/Pete Burns classic? Sadly, the answer is not a lot of people these days. Hiphop also relies on auto-tune to make up for the lack of talented vocalists. The robotic effect is awesome sounding, but when Kanye West used it on his latest album, it just about died for me. A rapper cannot sing, and thus must heavily computerize his vocal work.

If I even try to tackle the indie genre, this post would last for years. I’ll just say this much, Billboard said that indie suffered the most in terms of sales in 2009 and that made me very happy.

But what of pop/rock? 2007-2008 was an excellent period of music releases. Britney’s “Blackout” came out in 2007. A combination of dark synthpop and urban dance, it was her least commercially successful album but her best artistic work, and a worthy successor to the excellent “In the Zone.” Kylie Minogue’s comeback after battling cancer, “X” was released in 2007 (2008 in the US). A joyous celebration of life and fun, Kylie’s album was a shameless throwback to the 80s produced pop that made her a megastar. Coldplay released “Viva la Vida, or Death and All his Friends” in 2008. 2005’s “X&Y” was a sonic masterpiece that created its own sound: a fusion of dance and rock. “Viva la Vida” is a masterpiece in its own right: a musical exploration of such lofty themes as life and death. I have so many good memories of seeing them in concert supporting the album that I literally cannot listen to the album anymore. It’s too emotional, as cheesy as that sounds. Madonna released “Hard Candy” in 2008. Every song is excellent and fun on their own, but when placed together, the album paled in comparison to her 2005 album “Confessions on a Dance Floor,” which was one of her best albums ever. Madonna, sadly, fell into the hiphop trap, what crap. It’s a sad thing when the woman who set the trends for the last 20 some odd years begins to follow them. Her relevance in the US market is pretty much lost under the weight of all the Gagas, Katy Perrys, and Mileys of the world.

Then came 2009. Lady Gaga was really the only good thing that came out of that year. Notice I didn’t say great. She stands out from all the other music, but in her own way, she also neatly fits into it all. As stated in an earlier post, she has time to develop a unique place in the musical landscape. Katy Perry’s “Hot N Cold” was so poppy and upbeat, but songs like “I Kissed a Girl” and “Thinking of You” are the most rotten things you’ll hear in a while. She doesn’t sing very well, has a weird fruit fetish, and tries way to hard to be that “weird sexy rock chick.” Miley Cyrus managed to cross over from the tween market to the mainstream, but “Party in the USA” is no masterpiece. Britney released her album “Circus” in late 2008. The album, aside from its singles and standout track “Unusual You,” was boring, dull, and bland. I listened to it once. A single from her greatest hits album, “3” was really one of the only good songs of the year, because of its unabashed rave sound. The Black Eyed Peas ruled the charts with monster hits “Boom Boom Pow” and “I Gotta Feeling,” both so overplayed and manufactured that their success mystifies me.

2009 was also the year of Taylor Swift, and if I tried to relate my feelings about this talenteless girl, whose grateful persona is getting so old, then I'd waste my whole life ranting.

2010 has started off on the wrong foot. Newcomer Ke$ha’s song “Tik Tok,” which obviously steals its entire backing track from Kylie’s far superior “Love at First Sight,” was fun for the first two listens, but after discovering its thievery, its trashy party-all-night-and-get-drunk message makes me cringe. But there is hope yet. Madonna, Kylie, and Britney have albums due out this year, and Lady Gaga may release her third sometime near Christmas. I’m not saying the whole music industry relies on their success, nor that everyone will enjoy what they put out, but they’re all well established and for the most part, consistent.

But then again, for every Kylie, Madonna and Britney, we also are promised with a release by Justin Beiber, the inevitable tween crazy Twilight soundtrack, and a new Katy Perry album…like we need any of those.