On TV: Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

“Northanger Abbey” is re-airing on Masterpiece Classic on PBS tonight. It originally showed in their superb “The Complete Jane Austen” season in 2007.

This adaptation is excellent. I cannot say that enough. Catherine Morland is a country girl who is marked by extreme naiveté. She goes to bath and meets a gentleman (who, to her delight, is an expert is muslins!) by the name of Henry Tilney. Mr. Tilney is a stereotypically Austen gentleman. She befriends another girl who turns out to be of base morality, and Catherine herself causes some hurt feelings by falling into the traps (albeit innocently) of the hideous Mr. Thorpe (really, he’s ugly). Mr. Tilney invites Catherine to Northanger Abbey, where Catherine’s naiveté truly gets out of hand. She suspects Tilney’s father of murdering his wife. You see, Catherine is reading “The Mysteries of Udolpho” and her fantasies seep into reality. The end is truly magical, when Catherine apologizes to Tilney and they wind up happily together.

“Northanger Abbey” is not typical Austen. It is a satire of the gothic trend that pervaded her time. But fans of horror, mystery and romance will greatly appreciate it. It has humorous moments (especially Catherine’s fantasies) and the gothic parody scenes are great, because the tale actually has a dark mystery!

NA is beautifully shot, and the music is wonderful. The Irish countryside substituted for Bath and its environs is a lush green. Felicity Jones is at the top of her game as Catherine Morland: she is sprightly, naïve, and her looks are pixie like. She is truly ethereal. JJ Field gives depth to an otherwise one dimensional character, as Mr. Tilney. Carey Mulligan, an awards season favorite for her turn in “An Education” this year, is as always good in this as Catherine’s flirtatious friend.

This story also contains Austen’s best inside joke. Tilney admonishes Catherine when he discovers she thinks his mother was murdered by saying “Perhaps after all it is possible to read too many novels.” The irony and wit is delightful.

If you’re in for a scare, a mystery, a laugh, and heartfelt moments, give “Northanger Abbey” a go. It’s entrancing.

Track of the Week: What is Love?

It’s a new week, and in honor of Valentine’s Day we’ve chosen a love ballad. But this song is really about someone trying to find love, because they’ve been hurt in the past. So this isn’t exactly a love ballad. But we at “Something’s wrong with Esther” are known to eschew the rules.

“What is Love?” by Jennifer Lopez from the album “Love?”

Sure, I know what you’re thinking: Jennifer Lopez?! Why, why, why? But this song is actually uplifting in its own way.

This a leak from her forthcoming album “Love?” due sometime this year. J-Lo isn’t a spectacular singer, nor is she the best actress (but her romcoms are better than her songs). Yet “What is Love?” manages to soar, albeit unexpectedly.

If you’re thinking the melody sounds familiar, you’re right. “What is Love?” blatantly steals the melody and “na na na na” parts from Nelly Furtado’s masterpiece “All Good Things” and the Pussycat Dolls’ touching “I Hate this Part” (yes, PCD can be touching when they want to be). Both were decent songs in their own right, so the combination of the best parts from both manages to strike gold in this song.

The song starts off with a hip hop/dance beat similar to the songs it steal from. What makes this song shine is J-Lo’s vocal work. Her voice has never sounded better, especially in the end when she belts out over the choruses. The lyrics are actually poignant, reflective and touching, and semi-autobiographical.

Is it original? No. It actually sounds like any other ballad on the radio. Is it decent, in its own way? Listen and decide for yourself.

No illegal activity was intended by posting this video. Go and buy the album when it comes out to make up for listening to this.

Should've been Nominated: Public Enemies

Sometimes a movie comes across that you absolutely love, but bombs at the box office and fails with the critics. “Public Enemies” was one such movie.

The true story of John Dillinger and his capture, “Public Enemies” was a good movie. Filmed on location in Wisconsin, Indiana and Chicago, the movie transported viewers back to the flapper era, when gangsters were celebrities and money was stolen, not earned (it was the Great Depression).

First the weak points of the film: It dragged in some parts. When Dillinger walks into the police department shortly before his capture, the scene slowly moves along, with shots of Johnny Depp slowly looking at pictures while cops are distracted. The ending took forever.

The good parts: the action was solid. Vintage cars with gangsters and cops with tommy guns was reminiscent of “Bonny and Clyde.” The locations were really amazing. An inn where Dillinger stayed was really used. The theatre in Chicago were he was shot at featured in the movie. The music, a combination of banjos and electric guitars, was rollicking (and apt for a 1930s gun slinging gangster flick). The direction and cinematography was superb, as the film had the feel of a black and white movie.

The luminescent Cotillard as "Black Bird"

The best part was the acting. I am by no means a Johnny Depp fan. (Fangirls, I’ll say it, he’s ugly). But he really worked as Dillinger. He had the right amount of criminality and suaveness to play the part. Marion Cotillard, a favorite of “There’s Something wrong with Esther,” was impeccable as usual. She played Dillinger’s girlfriend, “the Black Bird.” She conveyed the right amount of worry and thrill. The role potentially could have been one dimensional (say, if Jessica Biel played her) but Cotillard can give any role depth and significance. And who can forget Christian Bale? He is consistently good. Whether in big blockbusters, or small indies, he often carries his films. He played the detective that pursued Dillinger. He mixed the essence of Dean Martin-esque coolness and appeal with determination. Cotillard and Bale worked best together, especially in the scene where he carries her, crying after being tortured, out of the police station.

We think Cotillard should have been nominated as Best Supporting Actress, at least for her stint in “Nine” or this movie. Bale should have received a nomination, or at least a Golden Globe nomination. Cinematography and Original Score would have been nice too. That Sandra Bullock could get nominated for the “Blind Side” (Really, Academy? Really?) and such excellent films as “Nine,” “Public Enemies,” and “The Road” should be snubbed is a real shame.

A Land Unfit For the Living: R-Point

R-Point (2004) is a Korean thriller set during the Vietnam War. The movie begins with a static-filled cry for help over the radio. There's one major problem with this however- the group of soldiers calling for help over the radio were presumed dead before the radio transmissions. In fact, the one remaining survivor of this group claims he witnessed their deaths firsthand. In response, the South Korean army assembles a rag-tag group of soldiers. There mission is simple- travel to "R-Point" and find the missing soldiers. If they make it back, they are promised a ticket home. Unfortunately for them, nothing that goes into R-Point comes out intact.

R-Point is a hot spot for paranormal activity. It is a piece of land that, as one of the characters explains, is unfit for either the living or the dead. The ghost elements of the story are very well done. Things unfold slowly, and while this might be a turn-off to some viewers, I found it to be a very effective way of letting the atmosphere and tension crawl under your skin. R-Point is a (relatively) quiet film. It is best viewed when you have the time/inclination to sit down and think about it.

...Because you will need to spend some serious time thinking about it. If I had one major complaint with R-Point it would be that it is, at times, frustratingly confusing. But while this aspect makes the movie, at times, infuriating, it makes the storyline intriguing and mysterious. I tried to guess as to whether my confusion comes from being an American who doesn't know much about Korean myth, or if it was an intentional thing. We may never know. What I do know, from doing a bit of reading online, is that this confusion is pretty standard amongst American audiences.

Regardless of my, and some others, confusion, it's clear that there are some great ideas and concepts in R-Point. In particular there are some really striking visuals to be found; blood drips from an old radio that's covered in cobwebs, a soldier stands in what appears to be an empty field, only for a strike of lightning to illuminate the rows of graves next to him. The sounds of R-Point, from the static filled radio transmissions to the jingle of bells, also provide a percentage of the required creepiness.

I think that's about all I can say about R-Point without spoiling the strange, haunting journey it takes you on. Ghost movies don't always work for me. In particular, Asian ghost stories often inspire boredom in me more often than they do fear. That said, I enjoyed R-Point. Regardless of my confusion during parts of the film, I couldn't stop watching. I found the movie overall to be very haunting and atmospheric. I also found myself more emotionally connected with these characters than I do in many in other supernatural horror films. Often, I cared when a character died because I knew he was, flaws and all.

To those who have the patience, I recommend R-Point.

Thank you for the Memories Oprah

Legend. Philanthropist. Hero. Oprah Winfrey has come a long way from the tar shacks of the rural south to the living rooms, and hearts, of the world.

Oprah announced recently that her show is ending in September 2011. Her show has been a staple of American culture for 25 years. Its end is both fitting and tragic. Through the years Oprah has entertained us all with celebrity guests, sensational real life stories, and life improvement episodes. She has led us to “live our best life.”

Who can forget all the moments, so numerous they are they cannot all be named. Tom Cruise jumping on the couch. A hundred year old who just learned to read. Oprah’s birthday celebrations. Gayle and Oprah’s road trip.

Every episode, every moment, every laugh, every tear has marked an important part in the lives of many people.

As Oprah said in her tearful heartfelt announcement, we have grown up with her. We have let Oprah into our homes for an hour everyday, but she changed our lives forever.

Thank you, Oprah. Thank you for all the memories. We love you.

The timing is right. She has been doing this for so long, that it’s just business for her. She’s changed from championing the common person to basking in her own arrogant triumph and wealth. She commands legions of housewives to consume whatever product she throws at them. Oprah, like many good things, can go on for so long that they outlast their prime. All good things come to an end.

Oprah gained weight again by eating Organic Garden of Eatin' Blue Chips, which are bland and stale tasting. Oprah humiliated an author for lying to her. Oprah won an election for Obama.
Oprah uses corporate gifts as her own for her giveaway episodes. Oprah is celebrity obsessed and has abandoned the common man.

But Oprah has a school for girls, whom are her daughters (even if she all but steals them from parents). Oprah has a best friend in Gayle, who is beyond friends, beyond family. Oprah has given away a lot of money. Oprah singlehandedly made discussing sexual abuse and weight issues acceptable.

Oprah, like all of us, is human. But her legacy and her mark on entertainment is undeniable.

Should've been Nominated: The Road

A father and son walk alone, avoiding the roads, in a post-apocalyptic world. They learn from each other about love and life. The father and son "carry the fire"--a fire that cannot be extinguished by time or death.

This is the premise of The Road, a faithful and moving adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's Pulitzer Prize winning masterpiece.

Why this movie wasn't nominated for Oscars is really beyond us! I mean, why, why, why?!

The Road's cinematography was arresting. As Hedorah commented upon seeing the film, the devastated world, shot in bleak greys and whites, was actually beautiful. The scene where the father places his wedding ring on an overpass contains extraordinary visuals: the grey concrete against a grey sky evokes the father's relationship with his wife.

The acting was incredible. Precious was carried by the tour-de-force performance of Mo'Nique as Mary, the abusive mother, but The Road contained a bevy of impeccable performances. Viggo Mortensen's portrayal of the father conveyed the unconditional love he had for his son ("you have my whole heart" he says when dying). Kodi Smit McPhee's youth didn't hinder his abilities, of note is the scene where he cries to his father "I am the one. I am the one who worries." Even Charlize Theron did a wonderful job as the restless and depressed wife who one day walks away from everything, into the fiery black void. But the real scene stealer was Robert Duvall as the Old Man. Hearing him speak of the world before the cataclysm was amazing. His eyes teared up when he spoke of his son. He was angry, upset, and grateful all at once. Even the moment when he (humorously) vomits up a can of DelMonte peaches shows the toll the world has taken on him.

And who can forget the thrills of this movie? Whether encountering a bunker full of bodies waiting to be consumed (the gasp worthy scene of "help us" proves our point), a band of marauders consuming their dead friend, or a woman and daughter being chased near a set of skulls on spikes, this movie was thrilling. We lament the absence of a particularly grisly scene from the book, involving a pregnant woman, a fetus "extracted" therefrom, and a fire and spit.

This film deserved acting Oscar nominations for Viggo Mortensen (Lead), Robert Duvall (Supporting), Koti Smitt McPhee (Supporting), and Charlize Theron (Supporting). The cinematographers deserve Oscar nominations. We even wish it had been given Best Picture and Best Director nominations. And if anyone ought to have won, it would have to be Robert Duvall.

"Even if you knew what to do, you wouldn't know what to do."

[on death] "We can't afford such luxuries in times as these."

A Sad Valentine: My Bloody Valentine (1981)

For the inhabitants of Valentine Bluffs, Valentine's Day means more than just Hallmark cards and dinner reservations. You see, it was on a Valentine's Day, many years ago, when an explosion in the mine left a group of workers trapped inside. Only one of the miners, a man named Harry Warden, survived the accident. However, by the time he was rescued, his sanity had left him entirely. One year later, on the anniversary of the explosion (aka Valentine's Day), he returned to take revenge on the workers whose negligence caused his entrapment in the mine. Harry Warden was captured by the police, but, even now, twenty years later, his dark deeds still haunt the local population, whose Valentine's Day traditions are now plagued with fears and superstitions.

Such is the set-up to the 1981 Canadian slasher film "My Bloody Valentine", a movie that was remade (in 3-D, no less) last year. While I had heard of this film before it was remade, it wasn't until after seeing the remake that I felt compelled to track this one down. I was glad I did. While on the surface it looks like it could be just another derivative 1980's teen horror film, it has a surprising amount of originality and creativity.

One of the major things that makes this movie work for me is the setting. Valentine's Bluffs is a small town whose centerpiece is the local mine. If there was ever a location that was seemingly made for these types of movies- it would be a mine. Small, dark, maze-like, isolated, and claustrophobic, it is the last place you want to be whilst running from a killer with a pickax. Not all of the movie takes place in the dark interior of the mine, of course. It isn't until the end when a group of the kids end up in the mine, alone and, at first, oblivious to the murders that are occurring above them.

Let's talk about these murders for a minute- simply put, they're awesome. Despite the fact that our killer has nothing on him but a mining suit and a pickax, he manages to get pretty creative with the kills. Harry Warden (or is it really Harry Warden?) is adept at using his environment to maximum impact. Showers, washing machines, and boiling pots of water are all used for devious purposes. The special effects highlight Harry's bloody deeds excellently. I know this movie is over twenty years old, but the effects are still pretty impressive. One scene of note involves a man whose eye gets poked out with the pickax-the result on screen is gruesome and effective.

Harry himself makes for an entertaining character. He is covered from head to toe in miner's garb, with his face hidden behind a gas mask. His ominous, Darth Vader-style breathing provides an interesting audio accompaniment to his violent deeds. There's also the mystery as to whether or not it is actually Harry Warden himself behind the mask. I won't spoil anything, but observant viewers shouldn't find the ending too terribly shocking.

My Bloody Valentine is, in my opinion, a top-notch slice of entertainment for those who enjoy slasher films from this era. Just one parting note- for those who are interested in this movie, make sure you watch the extended cut, and steer clear of the theatrical version. My Bloody Valentine was heavily cut for theaters and, as a result, the theatrical version of the film is virtually bloodless, and slightly choppy. The extended version, which is available on the DVD, features none of these problems. True, the added footage is a bit grainy, but it won't take anything from your enjoyment of the film.